So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
