When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize