I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
