I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize