I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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