Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
