that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
