I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
