Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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