so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
