My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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