it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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