Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
