I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My dick has a subreddit
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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