need another drink. this is the easiest way
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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