grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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