Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
