I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
