Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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