we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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