I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
