I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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