she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
