do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
