In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize