No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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