I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize