last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
