Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
