Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
