im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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