I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
