rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
