im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
