D3 body, D1 cock
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
