hotel room ftw
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
