If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
