She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
