careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize