please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
