My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
