Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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