the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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