i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
why do cheetos always look like penises
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
