just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
as a side note pls kill me
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize