My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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