This is not my ceiling
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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