I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
