maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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