C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
