Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
