He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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