Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
just found out that she named her cat after me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
