The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
