She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
