I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize