hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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