I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
